Sometimes there is love

My neighbor sent out the official email that details that they are going to closing on October 31st.  There house has been for sale before but there were no takers and in this slumping economy, they weren’t sure they could sell but it seems as if they have.  When we moved here 4 years ago, imagine our surprise to find that their daughter and ours were the same age and their twins were 6 months apart from our son.  The kids would walk through the woods and play many times over the last 4 years.

You see, growing up, my family never moved.  I lived in the same house from Kindergarten to graduation and would return to that house all through college and grad school.  I also went to public school and had my neighborhood and school friends.  But, my kids are homeschooled……

I don’t say that in a negative way because we love homeschooling and feel it is the right choice for our family.  And if you happen to be reading and want to take that and run in the direction of what about socialization – just stop yourself right now because my kids are very socialized.  As I was saying, homeschooling can limit the opportunities for kids to make friends outside of their siblings.  Our kids have lots of cousins and family is always family but I guess secretly *I* long for them to have a BFF or at least a BF.  Yes, I said I because it is not something that they focus on.  They are sad that their friends are moving away but they knew it was a possibility and in this new age of technology, they will still be able to connect.

So, while I work through my feelings on them having more friends, I started thinking of the words from Whodini’s Friends song from my childhood.  Yes, I am a child of the 80’s.

How many of us have them?
Ones we can depend on
How many of us have them?
Before we go any further, lets be
Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends
And if you ask me, you know, I couldnt be much help
Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself
Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake kindness for bein a fool
We like to be with some, because they’re funny
Others come around when they need some money
Some you grew up with, around the way
And you’re still real close too this very day
Homeboys through the Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall
And then there’s some we wish we never knew at all
And this list goes on, again and again
But these are the people that we call friends


There is a lot of truth in those words.

I have read where parents, more specifically moms, pray for the future mates of their children and it got me thinking that I need to start praying for what kind of friends I want for my children.  They have met other children via AWANA and other activities and we have had some of them over for play dates but….

If I am honest, I need to take some of the blame because I am not that mom when it comes to play dates.  We have work to get done and play dates can get in the way.  I obviously need to pray about my play date attitude.  Also, I can be a homebody and despite having been the most social of all social butterflies growing up, I have become more of a recluse.  I say all of this to say that I have some issues.  😉

So am I crazy for wanting them to have a BFF or BF?

How many play dates do you do?  I think I have a bias towards that phrase – “play date”…

Do you create opportunities for friendship development?

Probably doesn’t help that we live in an urbanized area but our home is rural and I am a crazed, 1 income living, thrift store shopping, home canning, gardening, chicken having, Jesus loving kind of gal, just saying…..


2 thoughts on “Friends”

  1. I had a similar childhood, in the fact that we never moved. We were in the same house from when I was four until I was 15, which felt like “forever”. There was a passel of girlfriends from that neighborhood; we all ran around together continuously. However, my childhood friends who remain to this day are ones from my (private, Christian) school and my church. I was in the same church from age 4 – 17. IOW, I think it’s children of families who share the same values who stay friends the longest; not just friends based on proximity.

    My family has been in our current home for six years this month. My children have LOTS of neighborhood friends, for which I am very thankful. But, their closest friends remain those from church, many of whom each of my children have known for LIFE!

    We don’t really do many play dates. My younger girls (ages almost-three and five) do, occasionally. But my boys are happy with our weekly homeschooling group, and frequently going to a friend’s house for the afternoon after church on Sunday. 🙂 And my oldest (he’s 14) goes to a weekly Bible study with a friend (also a homeschooler) from another church. And there’s the neighborhood friends…

    I’m rather a recluse, too… I just have so many plates spinning — although I don’t have chickens! I need to mostly stay at home — I WANT to mostly stay at home, and tend to things here.

    I guess I would just encourage you to make the most of every opportunity, and attend to each child’s wants/needs. KWIM? My 12yo is VERY social and outgoing; he plays with neighborhood friends daily and almost always goes home with a diff family each Sunday. But, my 14yo doesn’t spread himself so thin; he’s content with one-two interactions with others each week. It really depends on the kid. I wouldn’t worry about the BFF thing for your children unless you think they seem really bereft.

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