Happy Birthday Little Brother!


Wow, today would have been your 34th birthday. It seems like just yesterday we were playing in the basement, learning how to drive and you were giving me, the older sister, money while we were at college. I miss you and I wish I was not so wrapped in me at the time to really hear your heart and understand the things that were going on inside your head. I am sorry for the loser guys that I exposed you too because you thought they were cool being that I was interested in them. Most of all, I wish I would have known the depth of your pain so I could have told you that tomorrow is another day and the mistakes of yesterday can be fixed and the hurts can be healed.

It is hard to imagine that it is almost 12 years since you took your life. While I will never know nor understand your reasons, you impacted a lot of people. Your organs went to some wonderful people and Mom and Dad are glad they listened to me. Your niece needed an organ, so who knew that giving yours would lead to me one day needing one for my princess. She is beautiful and she and your nephew know all about you and have seen your pictures. Oh, how I would love to have you here to be there uncle. They have older uncles from my hubby’s side (you would like him too) but you would be their coolest and favorite, I am sure. Your nephew is like you in many ways and sometimes Mom calls him by your name. I do hope that you are hanging out in heaven and taking good care of my son Malachi. I only got to know him for an hour but the 29 weeks of carrying him made the hour worth it.

There is so much to tell you but the most important thing is that I love and miss you dearly and always. Happy Birthday Little Brother!!



4 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Little Brother!”

  1. Oh, that makes me want to cry! I’m so sorry for your loss but glad to know that you had a brother that you loved so much.

    I had a cousin who took his life at age 24 and I often wonder how different life would be if he were still here. Very different for his immediate family I know!

  2. I am proud of you for posting this… sometimes 12 years seem like just a breath away.

    I’ll be praying for your family today as well as your dad’s ouchie foot.

  3. Kiva, I’m so very sorry for your loss. He was a very handsome young man; I was looking at his picture and his eyes pierced right through me and tugged at my heart. I’m glad you are remembering all the good times instead of defining him by his passing.

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