Off to join the circus

I think I could do quite well as a lion tamer or maybe a tight rope walker. While I am not really going to run away to the circus, I do feel like that sometimes. On the whole, I think I am a pretty happy, optimistic, upbeat person but I do have days in which I am not and there are certain triggers that kind of sneak up on me and really knock me over.

Warning – serious soul sharing ahead

Over the weekend, our family reunion was great! On of my SIL’s is pregnant and is due in December. I have known since Mother’s day and I am quite happy for her and my BIL. I found out that one of my niece-in-laws is also pregnant and due 1 week later in December. That I didn’t know and it sent my head spinning and womb yearning to make another baby. However, I can’t after the complications from my angel Malachi.

I need prayer for contentment because my 2 little energizer bunnies are wonderful and obviously what God intended for me and dh. Dh and I have discussed adoption and he is receptive but I think I want it more than he does right now and I have not pushed the issue in order to allow the Holy Spirit to work and to do things in God’s timing and not my own.

Serious soul sharing has ended – we will now return to your regularly scheduled reading

I rescued a squirrel today. He had entered our trap that is set up for the pesky groundhog that took to eating some of my pretty purple petunias (say that 3 times fast) the other day. It had just started to rain and let’s be honest my involvement with the trap and its mechanics is minimal at best:

1. I inform dh to set it
2. I give him the goodies to put in it
3. I pray that the groundhog goes in it
4. Once groundhog is caught, I call animal control so they can take him far from my house and petunias.

Needless to say, I couldn’t let jumpy squirrel (name used for all squirrels according to my kids) stay in the trap for hours until dh came home. I donned my slicker as the rain picked up while I was on the phone with dh asking how does this thing work?..uh huh, major sighing on his part as he had to explain it 3x. πŸ˜€ I tell the kids to say a prayer for momma and I head out. The squirrel knew I didn’t know what I was doing so he was trying to instruct me on the best way to get him up out of there and I just wanted quiet and warned him that he would stay in the cage if he didn’t stop with all the jumping around. Just like a good kid, he stopped and I figured out the trap mechanics and he hauled tail up the wood pile with a quick peek over his shoulder to make sure that I wasn’t setting the trap again. I told him that I wasn’t but if he knew what I knew no matter what tasty treats are in there that he should stay out unless he wants to have to rely on me again for his freedom. I think he got the message. πŸ™‚


One thought on “Off to join the circus”

  1. I so relate to your serious soul sharing. That longing for more children is so strong, so painful. My husband got a vasectomy 6 months after my son was born when I thought I was pregnant again. Neither of us were Christians at the time, so we did not make thoughtful or wise decisions. We have since been through a trial of trying to adopt 3 siblings in the area, and are still open to whatever God leads us to do, but that does not take the longing away. I must say that as I grow older, it does get easier, some.

    Thanks for those kind words and for sharing your soul. I agree that the yearning lessens at times and then there will be those moments that rock me. Like you, I am just trying to walk in God’s footsteps instead of my own. Blessings!!!

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