Pastor's Wives – Image, Perception and Reality

This has been tumbling around in my head for quite some time and I look forward to hearing from others.

When I was growing up, the Pastor’s Wife (PW) was a very sweet lady that was always there and always pleasant and always (fill in the blank). The PW at my church is a very sweet lady that is always there and always pleasant and always (fill in the blank). 🙂 My hubby is a licensed Minister (we are of the Baptist faith) in our church and that has allowed me to get to know the PW so I know that she isn’t wonder woman, but before his licensing and getting to know her, I did look for her cape.

That leads me to wonder,

1) – What is your PW like?

2) Do you think she is wonder woman?

3) What is your image/perception of PW’s?

4) If you know your PW, have you found that your image/perception is her reality?

5) What makes your PW special to the congregation?

6) What do you view as the role of the PW?

7) If you are a PW, what do you struggle with as it relates to image/perception and your reality?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.


4 thoughts on “Pastor's Wives – Image, Perception and Reality”

  1. 1. hm, which one, i think there are about 15 on staff Our head pastor’s wife… She is smart. Kind.
    2. no
    3. i dont really have a perception because I feel like i have seen such a range of personalities
    4. n/a because of #3
    5. many of them are involved whether through womens ministry, childrens, writing bible studies…
    6. well the primary roles of a wife and if applicable mother. other than that i think we have to be careful about placeing expectations on them, they need to be what the Lord has called them to be in the body… period. and that may be different for everyone.
    7. n/a
    great questions. I think it is an area where the church is sometimes askew.

    Hmmm, I like your response to #6. I wonder whether congregations/members truly understand that all are blessed with different gifts. I know at my church, the Sr. Pastor has 5 kids and 2 of the Ministers families have 5 kids, 1 has 6 kids, and 2 have 3, some people often ask when are we going to ‘catch up’ to the rest. Little comments here and there have had me thinking about this and some other things that I will hopefully post in the upcoming days. Thanks for responding.

  2. I want to answer this from two perspectives: as a PKK and a parishoner. My grandmother was a treasure of a pastor’s wife. She used to rise early to bake each day Granddaddy went calling, ensuring that he had fresh baked good to take and share. She was a great organizer and very thoughtful, so there was never someone in need long. She was happy and real, but not “holier-than-thou.” She was a treasure!
    As a parishoner in various churches over the years, the pastor’s wives who stood out were those who were real and approachable. The ones who would share a recipe or a laugh. The ones who let their light shine from within to all around. The ones who left a bad taste in my mouth were those who always distanced themselves, or seemed judgemental. Hope this helps!

    Thanks for the comments and both perspectives. Your grandmother sounds like a true gem.

  3. It hink that everyone in the church is called to the same standard. The Bible… our lives should strive to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling”, honor and glorify our savior and Lord Jesus Christ in all we do… Where the diffence is? that leaders are held more accountable for this. I really get annoyed that anyone is ever put on a pedestal. Working in the Music industry I watched this aid in destroying people… especially if they were still young and didn’t have a foundation of charcter to build on yet. IT is very difficult to go in front of christian audiance after christian audiance and have them treat you like “god” and remin humble. It feeds in to the deepest root of our sin nature “I want to be like God”. So that stuff really sickens me. I think it is right and pleasing to God to submit to your Godly leaders and to serve them, bless them. But putting them on a pedistal just isn’t right. WE worship God in 3 persons alone.

  4. sorry i just keep having opinions on this post!
    It sucks, but leaders fall sometimes. In fact in it is common. I have been in churches before (as a member) where too much influence was put on “spiritual authority” of pastors. And while i believe in that, it can be enphasised incorrectly. I have watched these churches fall apart and people that were saved into that church start questioning everything they believed… some don’t come back to God. That is scarey. Were they following Jesus? or their pastor? It is good to follow your pastor, as long as the pastor is leading you toward God… but thedm walking away from the path (though it may hurt, and you will need healing) should not stop you on your path toward Christ. People are human, and they are capeable of falling.
    I read this the other day in my quiet time.
    1 Peter 5:2
    Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them- not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not persuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears you will receive the crown of glorwy that will never face away.
    I feel that directly goes against the way i have seen some pastors “lord over their flocks”.
    So as much as congregations can be guilty of this elevating of people, leaders sometimes feed into it for manipulative reasons, control issues, and sometimes for dishonest gain.

    All opinions are welcome. 🙂 I do understand your viewpoint because remaining humble in some situations must be hard especially in the music industry and the like. The responsibility of pastors is real and God really has a lot to say about leaders in many books of the Bible. The sad thing is when I see some that act foolishly, I often wonder if they really know God because if they do then the fear of Him should get them back on the straight and narrow quickly. While visiting NC a few weeks ago, I was amazed listening at some of the stories of flim flam that were going in the rural churches. A bunch of slick willie’s were and are pulling the wool over the eyes of many down there…sad, very sad.

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