I have had a headache most of the day today and I feel like this will help by finally getting these thoughts out of my head. I haven’t done much in the last few days being that we went to my parents and then dh decided to purchase me a laptop (his way of evicting me from his office) at a computer show and it had a few glitches that after returning it to the computer show, they were fixed but now we seemingly have new glitches that kept me up till 1 a.m. last night. 🙄
This morning, dh asked if I had any thoughts about something he shared Saturday night during the NASCAR all-star race. Of course, I haven’t posted about Jeff losing $1 million bucks due to a flat tire, because quite frankly I was a little peeved about the whole thing and messing with the new laptop. 😐
Anyhoo, back to dh….a good friend of his/ours is moving back to the area and does not want to live with his previous roommate due to differences primarily in how life is lived and his spiritual walk. This friend truly looks up to my husband as when he was a new member at church, my dh really took him aside and discipled him and they have a great friendship. This friend has a new job making more money than he probably thought he would make and probably more than many in his family have made and he has asked my dh for accountability as it relates to his stewardship (my dh is great at stewardship, noticed I did not include myself). 😆
He has also battled depression, loneliness, and other issues especially after his mom passed and then his grandmother. He is very all or nothing though in terms of friendship in that if you are doing all the work he is cool but once you don’t he can get a bit girly in the sense that he will hold a grudge/attitude.
He would like to stay at our house for a period of time to get himself together and find a place and be discipled by my dh. I have feelings that are all over the place as it relates to this one…
1) I think it is always good to help those in need if you are able and if I give up the craft/weight room in the basement, he can have that bedroom and full bath. Mind you, the craft/weight room is suppossed to be transforming into the craft/homeschool room so if he stays he will monkey with those plans.
2) Friend’s new job is suppossed to pay 6 figures and he has no children, so I am thinking that if he were to stay it should be no longer than 3 months. I say that because he can be very needy and I am wondering if he is looking for accountability or a family. He always says that we are his family and that is really the way he treats us at times as parent figures and he needs our approval.
3) My dh doesn’t want us to be selfish but quite frankly, I like my space. 😯 What if he decides to stay home from work one day, our day is altered. I like my basement as it comfy and during the summer it is so nice and cool and that is where we have set-up the kids playroom and just about all the books in our house as well as the laundry room. Remember, I don’t want to be selfish.
4) I don’t want anyone coming in my marriage. I think that he (having no real friends/family in the area) can lean too heavily on my dh as his social contact (think Julie from the Love Boat). I just see him either around all the time or him wanting my dh to be on the go.
5) Did I mention that he is 36 and a grown man…it it me or should he be able to manage on his own?
This is all quite difficult for me to process in that we have quite a bit going on in our lives and a lot of change as dh is seeking God’s face about a church plant. I think that makes me want to think about it from a ministry perspective but this is our home not a shelter.
What would you do? Would you have a friend stay with you? For how long? Groundrules? 😕