How do you measure up?

I was talking with a friend the other day and she was having one of those mom/wife moments where she just didn’t feel like she measured up to 2 other women (in particular). For background information: my friend is a stay-at-home wife/mom and she homeschools her 2 children. They live in a nice neighborhood with a nice home, car, etc. Both of her friends lives in a nicer neighborhoods, one has 3 kids and one has 1 dd, both have bigger homes, etc.

So, we are chatting:

My Friend – I just don’t feel that I measure up, especially when I am around these 2 friends. One has a daughter the same age as mine and she is reading at a 5th grade level and she had a sleepover and gave out high-priced personalized gifts to all party goers. She even has an up-to-date scrapbook for each child (she has 3).

Me – You mean the pictures aren’t in boxes? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

My Friend – (pulls out digital camera) Look at these pictures from the sleepover. The entire basement of their really big house was dedicated to the sleepover. There is her wonderful husband and look at all the space and how neat everything is…

Me – Hmmm

My Friend – They are having a big playhouse built out back and she has already finished her Sonlight curric for the year and made all of her September purchases.

Me – Hmmm

My Friend – She doesn’t have to worry about money and she doesn’t have to wait for a sale.

Me – Hmmm

My Friend – My other friend (has 1 child) and they are having a stage built for dd and she has a really big house.

Me – Uhh Uhh

My Friend – I just don’t feel that I am organized enough for school, that my house is clean enough, that I am doing all that I can do.

Me – There is someone watching you wishing they could be at home and live in your house and drive your car and have what you have.

I made it comedic, but really many women suffer from the measuring up syndrome! I am woman, hear me roar and please do not rip the S off of my superwoman cape. The way the S drags us down, it might as well be a scarlet A.

When I have these moments, I look for my rose colored glasses and I put those on and I am thankful for what I do have…the Proverbs 31 woman really had it all together and my prayer is that God will continue to grow me in that way. Is that completely realistic, I think so as long as I am looking up, I do not have time to look around me at what you have. ๐Ÿ™‚

How do you deal with the feeling that you do not measure up?

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4 thoughts on “How do you measure up?”

  1. first off help me. what is a dd. you use these things and usually i’m like “okay i think in that context she means her husband…” but on this one i’m clueless.

    I have struggled with this from time to time. Not as much on the money end unless you include wanting someone who would clean my house ๐Ÿ™‚ But more on the “accomplishment” end. I have been much better about it lately. But there have been times where I just felt out of control b/c i wasn’t checking off all my little boxes in the expectations row. Clean house, perfect orginization, perfect laundry, perfect cook, perfect mom, perfect christian. BUT DUH i’m so far from perfect and just can’t do it! But it is hard sometimes when I meet other mom’s that seem to have it all together in those areas… AND I DON”T EVEN ADD HOMESCHOOLING TO THIS!

  2. MZ – dd – (darling/dear daughter) ds (darling/dear son) At least that is what I think when I use them and read them elsewhere. LOL!

    I do feel ya because there are others that truly seem to have it together and I can only wonder – do they really? We all (for the most part) try to put our best faces forward and since there is so much pressure (real or imagined) to measure up to some ideal that I think even when we don’t have it together, we can put on a good show. That is not to say that there are not some close to perfectly organized folks in the world but something else has to be sold short IMO.

    I love the part of Proverbs 31:15 where it mentions her servant girls, I am still waiting on them girls to report for duty. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. This post reminds me of one of my last homeschool meetings before the year end. There is a lady in our very small group that monopolizes the entire time talking about how she can’t “do it all” and how her husband doesn’t help and blah blah blah. She actually asked us to tell her what our husbands did good so she could present him with this “evidence” and change him. Amazing! Of course, no one volunteered. But why do we compare our life or our school or our house to somebody elses? Are we responsible to them? No. We are only responsible to God. I have my own doubts about how well I’m managing. Sometimes I don’t know why God called me to this lowly profession. But thank God He did!! Not because of my own efforts, but because I can see how He has worked so amazingly in my children and my marriage (although at times it doesn’t seem that way). So I keep my focus on Him. Not on what so and so is doing. I’m sure so and so has a few struggles of her own as well…

  4. Just stumbled upon your webpage and found it very attention-grabbing. I think that your honesty in all things are awesome. You don’t find many people you can relate to these days and see a certain honesty in them shine through words on a screen like yours have.

    Edie,

    Thanks for stopping by and for the words of encouragement. Please come back. Blessings!

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